Sunshine

When you all go together. Everywhere. When you are keeper of all things sacred and important.  Bed times.  Christmas traditions.  Night night songs. When your pockets are full of treasures…  Rocks.  Broken toys.  Love notes. You take your sunshine with you. It’s portable. You carry it on your hip.  Hold it’s hand in yours. SaveSaveView full post »

I’m Lost

Kathy, Im lost. I said, though I knew you were sleeping.  I’m empty and aching, and I don’t know why. Sometimes this Simon and Garfunkel line goes through my mind, over and over again.  It moves me, these few simple, raw words.  Last night, they were swimming through my mind as the boys and I were getting ready for bed.  I kissed my babes all goodnight, after wiggling Harry’s tooth a dozen times. He was sure it was ready to come out, I was sure it was not.  I kissed them all, said prayers. View full post »

The Unspeakable

Sometimes…  It’s unspeakably hard. But the joy.  That’s unspeakable too. When the wind blows through your hair, and the sunshine kisses the bridge of your nose. Unspeakable. When you hold your sister’s hand, because you know she’s nervous around new people.  You’re so big for one so little… Unspeakable. This huge, acing, deep, glorious love that I carry around in my chest for you.  Every waking moment.  Every sleeping moment.  All myView full post »

The Three

When they were engaged, he swung her around and said, “We’re getting married, Babe!” When he saw her for the first time on their wedding day, tears ran down his cheeks. Now they are three.  One tiny sun, with two parental planets pulled by his gravity.  He is the center of their universe. How lucky am I, to see all this love grow?View full post »

My Hot Mess People

My mind was focused on packing up, getting ready to leave in fifteen minutes for a client session across town. The boys were eating dinner in a strange combination of the pajamas they wore the night before, dirty faces, tangled hair, and red satin capes. “Hey, you and the boys should come with me!” Deadpan look in response. This is your kryptonite. It’s the worst of everything. Wrangling the boys to get in the car wearing real clothes, taking them anywhere they should act like humans and not aView full post »

The Magic

I am a frustration to Grandmas and Great Aunts everywhere.  I don’t take photographs of everyone looking at the camera and smiling perfectly.  I mean, I can…  But I rarely do.  It just isn’t what melts my butter.  Doesn’t light my fire.  Doesn’t flip my boat.  I’m not interested in perfection…  It doesn’t exist.  But I’ll tell you very quietly, very softly what does exist.  What does exist, is you.  You and your love.  That’s what isView full post »

All the Curse Words

“So, what did you tell your teacher about your homework?” You, beaming. “Don’t worry, Mom. I told her you spilled your wine all over it, so it wasn’t my fault!” Me, eyes closed. Dear. Lord. All the curse words. All of them. At the same time. In all the languages. Right now.View full post »

Because

Because you love them perfectly. Because someday, they will know it. Because today is good, and pure, and lovely. Because today, you are together. SaveSaveView full post »

Brave, Beautiful Us

Here’s to us. All of us. Brave, beautiful us. Who don’t know the song, but play anyway. Who can’t really read the notes, but play anyway. Who don’t talk to the kids sitting next to us, but play anyway. We’re here. We show up. We play anyway. Brave, beautiful, us.View full post »