Category Archives: childrenSometimes… It’s unspeakably hard. But the joy. That’s unspeakable too. When the wind blows through your hair, and the sunshine kisses the bridge of your nose. Unspeakable. When you hold your sister’s hand, because you know she’s nervous around new people. You’re so big for one so little… Unspeakable. This huge, acing, deep, glorious love that I carry around in my chest for you. Every waking moment. Every sleeping moment. All my moments. Unspeakable.
My mind was focused on packing up, getting ready to leave in fifteen minutes for a client session across town. The boys were eating dinner in a strange combination of the pajamas they wore the night before, dirty faces, tangled hair, and red satin capes. “Hey, you and the boys should come with me!” Deadpan look in response. This is your kryptonite. It’s the worst of everything. Wrangling the boys to get in the car wearing real clothes, taking them anywhere they should act like humans and not a wolf pack, AND doing it all while being photographed. “Oh, we don’t have to. It’s fine. You work so hard all week, you don’t have to do this on your weekend.” You shook your head at me and headed for your closet. “Oh, yes I do. Don’t use your Jedi mind tricks on me.” As ever, we were a storm of chaos. I didn’t have my tripod. Fart jokes aplenty. And we almost ran out of gas on the highway. We party hard, the Evans Clan. I am a frustration to Grandmas and Great Aunts everywhere. I don’t take photographs of everyone looking at the camera and smiling perfectly. I mean, I can… But I rarely do. It just isn’t what melts my butter. Doesn’t light my fire. Doesn’t flip my boat. I’m not interested in perfection… It doesn’t exist. But I’ll tell you very quietly, very softly what does exist. What does exist, is you. You and your love. That’s what is real. That’s what is true, and is honest, and what is lovely. That’s what I see with my magic camera. I see what you don’t. You see how you’re barely making it. How your house is a mess. You see your long to do list with no check marks. Not enough, not enough, not enough. That’s what you see.
Ahh, but I have a magic camera. I see the truth that is hidden beneath. I see what is real. Then I get to show it to you. You see this? See how much you love each other? See that look in your eyes? See the way he looks at you? You ARE enough. You are imperfect, and you’re fumbling, and you are enough. And you’re going to be okay. You’re all going to be okay.
Because you love them perfectly. Because someday, they will know it. Because today is good, and pure, and lovely. Because today, you are together.
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